[DISCLAIMER: Wrote this early, but publishing it after the projected “married” time of 4:15 pm so that everything’s accurate.]
For countless years, I swore I’d never be the type to get married. I was young, free to do as I pleased, and the world would be my oyster when it came to women — or at least this was the naïve thinking I had on the topic of marriage some years back.
Now, on the day of my wedding, my thinking couldn’t be more different. I know that there’s a lot of people out there in the 18-34 age category who have marriage as the last thing on their minds (yes, mostly guys), but I don’t think it’s as bad as people make it out to be.
It’s not your grandparents’ world out there in the big city; the priorities have changed and the focus shifted. We’re not getting married at 12 anymore.
I hear it all the time: commitment issues, the inability to find someone, still too young to marry — all fine reasons, but if you keep living your life wondering “What if,” you’ll never get around to doing anything.
The transition into one of getting married wasn’t an easy one at all, but let’s take a look at some of the reasons why I eventually decided that tying the knot was better for me than living a loose life without relationship-related limits:
- We make about the same in income, so there’s not much of a net loss in the worst-case scenario of divorce that everyone seems to be so fixated on these days.
- There’s more spending power in two incomes than a singular one. So, we can stop buying things for ourselves and start combining our incomes for more substantial purchases.
- You get to add better anniversary gifts to the list of things you get each year. Or so I’m told.
- God wants His children to be married in holy matrimony — that’s mentioned pretty early on. As Christians, it was a step that we were going to take sooner or later — but not until we were ready.
- Sarah and I have many of the same fundamental values on top of our faith.
- Sarah and I love one another. I’m not talking about that puppy love that you experience when you first start dating someone — in the course of a relationship, you really get to know each other. Learn what makes the other person tick. The buttons you can press without knowing you’re pressing them. Sometimes, we can be really annoying to each other. But we’ve got each other’s backs, which is even more important than those moments of just being mad. A friend once asked me how I know she’s the one. My answer? “She’s the person I can take the most bullshit from without getting mad.” Ain’t love grand?
- We’ve been together for 3 1/2 years — as you get older, you can figure out more about the relationships you have in a shorter amount of time. I knew after a year that Sarah and I would likely be together for a long time, but whereas she would have loved to get engaged at that very moment, I thought it would be best to give us time to get to know each other, getting engaged later at nearly three years in. However, over the course of that time, I did my checks and balances for a good amount of compatibility, and I’m happy with the results.
- We both wanted to get married young enough to enjoy at least a few years of marriage, since the older you get, the harder conceiving children gets, not to mention RAISING them. If we have a kid at 30, when they’re 15, we’ll be 45. The longer you wait, the less energy you’ll have.
- Sarah and I both come from good, caring families, which helps family gathering to be a lot easier.
- Sarah’s reliable.
- We communicate well.
- We both have no real desire to date anyone else. We’re cool with how things are, and are loyal to the cause.
- Sarah is not crazy. VERY IMPORTANT.
But this wedding wouldn’t have come together without the help of so many people. In the moments where the wedding had to change from an audience of 160 to one of 220; where my enthusiasm had to be tempered by Sarah’s ability to plan; where things needed to get done and I didn’t bother looking at the budget anymore (by then, peace of mind outweighed the price tag) — we needed all the help we could get.
The Thank Yous.
- To DJ Jiten from Empire Entertainment — you were handpicked by me to provide the music for this; I know you won’t let me down. We’re all ready to PAR-TAY!!!
- To Kevin and Erin from Millrush Photography — we met through Twitter, and connected even more when we met in person 🙂 The fact that you guys are on Twitter is definitely a bonus 🙂 I have all the faith in the world that you’ll capture the emotion and excitement in today — thanks for crossing paths with me!
- To all the family and friends who’ll be part of this day — thank you so much. You’ll hear it in our speech and any time we meet over the course of today, but it’s sincere when I say I love you all and you’ve all helped to get me to this point.
- To both sets of parents — you’ll probably never read this, but thank you to my first Mom and Dad for caring enough to keep me going and growing, and my new Mom and Dad for accepting me so readily and not hassling me… TOO much 😉 I kid. You’re all amazing and I hope that Sarah and I reflect your dedication to raising good children.
- And of course, Sarah. I love you immensely; you’ll come across this eventually, and I hope this was all compelling enough for why this all makes sense — I know we’ll have an amazing life together, and I hope you’re happy that now your name is that much easier to pronounce. (Dutch last names be hard to pronounce properly over here!)
And so ends the days of Casey the Unmarried. Welcome to the next phase!
the end. (and the new beginning.)
–Casey E. Palmer