Casey Palmer summarizes Stephanie Meyer’s “Twilight” series.

Ugh. It’s basically like this:
Bella whines.
Edward reveals that he and his “family” are vampires.
James, who is awesome (and looks to be portrayed by an awesome actor), almost kills Bella.
Which would’ve made me very happy. But she lives.
Which means sequel.
Crap.
Book two.
Bella whines.
Jacob Black and her become BFF… or BFUECB (Best Friends Until Edward Comes Back)
Jasper dies because he is stupid.
OMG, EDWARD’S GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE.
Bella saves him.
OMG VOLTURI.
The end.
Oh crap.
Sequel.
Book three.
Jacob: ILU, Bella.
Edward: ILU, Bella.
Bella: wtf.
Bella whines some more.
OMG NO, NEWBORNS!
Werewolves + Vampires = ULTIMATE TEAM-UP!!!
Victoria loses her head. Literally.
The end.
BUT NOT BEFORE ANOTHER SEQUEL!!!
Book four.
Bella’s not done whining yet.
Bella and Edward get married.
Bella gets pregnant with something that’s OBVIOUSLY killing her—but no. She loves it. R U STUPID, BELLA?!
Anyway.
Bella gives birth, becomes vampire, Jacob falls in love with Renesmee, Bella wants to kill him, Volturi come to kill everyone (please?) but fail…
Ugh.
That… ugh.
THIS SERIES HURTS MY BRAIN.

By Casey E. Palmer

Husband. Father. Storyteller.

Calling the Great White North his home, Casey Palmer the Canadian Dad spend his free time in pursuit of the greatest content possible.

Thousand-word blog posts? Snapshots from life? Sketches and podcasts and more—he's more than just a dad blogger; he's working to change what's expected of the parenting creators of the world.

It's about so much more than just our kids.

When Casey's not creating, he's busy parenting, adventuring, trying to be a good husband and making the most of his life!

Casey lives in Toronto, Ontario.

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