“An Ending to the Beginning”

I wrote this on my way to passing out. Just one long verse. Freestyle.

It’s an oddity—y’all wanna pity
But I’m used to this shit, rather, used to feeling shitty
All too familiar with feeling all alone
The notion ringing in my ears like the goddamn telephone
Niggas be callin and bitches be callin too
But with all that callin I never hear “Doomz, the phone’s for you”
I was supposed to be a champ, dude was supposed to win
So why then do I feel the sadness permeate my skin?
I’m branded loser for life, you’ll find it on my gravestone
I’m similar to Mother Hubbard’s dog who didn’t get a bone
I don’t have someone for my own, better believe I’m single
And singly so, I don’t get much of a chance to mingle
I’m settling into a young adult lifestyle
Teenage years wasted—as a result, now I don’t smile
I thought I was doing what I thought was best
But now I’m heading in the wrong direction, fuck being depressed
I relied on the thoughts of others, look where it’s got me
Now I’m in a state where I once swore that this role is not me
My parents try to tell me it’ll all turn out fine
My friends tell me all I do nowadays in whine
My brothers don’t respect me, steal from me all the time
All I got left to depend on is a fuckin’ book of rhymes
I can’t remember the last time I had a good day
People always thinking I’m gay, and not the happy way
Accusation and speculation makes up much of my conversations
People trying to figure out how I deal with my situation
All my friends are either dating or fuckin’ engaged
Y’all think I got a temper problem—I’m just permanently enraged
Just because life ain’t going how I want it to…
Reality check. NOTHING ever goes the way I ever want it to
Gonna inherit glaucoma and I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome
Got a receding hairline from pops—I’m gonna be a friggin chrome dome
What I got in the future so that I should look forward
I can express this emotion—who the hell needs to use more words?
I’ve been told by shrinks I don’t know how to have fun
And my past is something from which I’m always on the run
I tell them that my world is one that lacking a sun
No warmth or sunshine, and y’all lucky that I don’t own a gun
It’s not like I wanna die, but I don’t much care to live
Almost as if I’ve given all I want to give
Question my motives and logic, see what answer you’ll get
I’m done with all this shit and I ain’t even legal in the States yet.

–case p.

By Casey E. Palmer

Calling the Great White North his home, Casey‘s spent the last few decades in pursuit of creating killer content. From novels as a kid, comics as a teen, to blogs and photos once he could grow a beard, he’ll use whatever’s around him to create amazing stuff.

When he’s not creating, he’s parenting, exploring and trying to make life as awesome as possible for everyone around him.

Because a boring life’s not a life worth living!

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