“An Ending to the Beginning”

I wrote this on my way to passing out. Just one long verse. Freestyle.

It’s an oddity—y’all wanna pity
But I’m used to this shit, rather, used to feeling shitty
All too familiar with feeling all alone
The notion ringing in my ears like the goddamn telephone
Niggas be callin and bitches be callin too
But with all that callin I never hear “Doomz, the phone’s for you”
I was supposed to be a champ, dude was supposed to win
So why then do I feel the sadness permeate my skin?
I’m branded loser for life, you’ll find it on my gravestone
I’m similar to Mother Hubbard’s dog who didn’t get a bone
I don’t have someone for my own, better believe I’m single
And singly so, I don’t get much of a chance to mingle
I’m settling into a young adult lifestyle
Teenage years wasted—as a result, now I don’t smile
I thought I was doing what I thought was best
But now I’m heading in the wrong direction, fuck being depressed
I relied on the thoughts of others, look where it’s got me
Now I’m in a state where I once swore that this role is not me
My parents try to tell me it’ll all turn out fine
My friends tell me all I do nowadays in whine
My brothers don’t respect me, steal from me all the time
All I got left to depend on is a fuckin’ book of rhymes
I can’t remember the last time I had a good day
People always thinking I’m gay, and not the happy way
Accusation and speculation makes up much of my conversations
People trying to figure out how I deal with my situation
All my friends are either dating or fuckin’ engaged
Y’all think I got a temper problem—I’m just permanently enraged
Just because life ain’t going how I want it to…
Reality check. NOTHING ever goes the way I ever want it to
Gonna inherit glaucoma and I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome
Got a receding hairline from pops—I’m gonna be a friggin chrome dome
What I got in the future so that I should look forward
I can express this emotion—who the hell needs to use more words?
I’ve been told by shrinks I don’t know how to have fun
And my past is something from which I’m always on the run
I tell them that my world is one that lacking a sun
No warmth or sunshine, and y’all lucky that I don’t own a gun
It’s not like I wanna die, but I don’t much care to live
Almost as if I’ve given all I want to give
Question my motives and logic, see what answer you’ll get
I’m done with all this shit and I ain’t even legal in the States yet.

–case p.

By Casey E. Palmer

Husband. Father. Storyteller.

Calling the Great White North his home, Casey Palmer the Canadian Dad spend his free time in pursuit of the greatest content possible.

Thousand-word blog posts? Snapshots from life? Sketches and podcasts and more—he's more than just a dad blogger; he's working to change what's expected of the parenting creators of the world.

It's about so much more than just our kids.

When Casey's not creating, he's busy parenting, adventuring, trying to be a good husband and making the most of his life!

Casey lives in Toronto, Ontario.

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