Independence, eh? - Casey Palmer, Canadian Dad

Last updated on April 5th, 2021 at 01:25 am

We want to be treated as adults while at the same time, we’re leaving home older and older to save money for our future independent lives.

We don’t cook as often as we used to.

Finding a life partner with a full set of “domestic abilities” can often be seen as a miracle.

The time we used to devote to the family has been gouged, portions of it going to the “9-to-5”, or whatever it is that we do in pursuit of the almighty currency.

Are we really ready for independence?

I’m one of those “home ’til marriage” types, apparently.

While even this has seen its share of flexibility and re-definition over the years, when it comes down to it, my mailing address still goes to my parents’ place. I still have stuff under their roof. No matter what my living situation, until I cut those ties, a part of me is still there.

This has its benefits:

home-cooked meals
free laundry
time to hang with the family
cheap rent
low overhead costs (compared to those who have to pay rent, utilities, groceries, laundry, etc.)

But we all want independence for a reason, right? The good doesn’t come without the bad. So in exchange for those benefits, I forfeit the following:

a right to privacy
the true respect of being an adult in my parents’ eyes
a refuge to avoid lectures, etc.

So what do you do? How do you make the transition from dependent to independent adult life? It may seem like an insurmountable chasm, but I assure you—it can be done.

Others won’t give you what you need to get through life—you’ve got to figure out how to do things for yourself in order to make it.

I was lucky (and yet cursed in some ways) that my parents wanted me to learn a number of life skills early on.

By the time I was 14, my parents had made sure I knew how to:

Cook for myself
Do my taxes
Put a budget together
Do my laundry
Keep a house in clean order

Amongst other things. I’ve come across a number of people (and Ill be honest, it’s primarily guys on this one) that just don’t seem to have the skills needed to exist autonomously. It’s either because they see it as “woman’s work”, or because they just don’t know where to start. In some cases, I’d even guess that they don’t care! But there’s so much you can do out there to learn. There’s YouTube. There are classes. There are people around you who probably know how to do whatever it is that you want to do. Take advantage of what’s around you and gain the skills to survive out there in the world!

It’s my honest opinion that one shouldn’t have to be reliant on others unnecessarily. I can accept that there will always be others who are better at things than other people, but when it comes down to it, it’s like I said back in my 100 tips: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF.

So go out there. Learn a little. Take a sewing class. Learn how to dance through instructional videos. Read a book on cooking. Learn how to fix a car from your mechanic friend.

The quicker you learn how to do things for yourself, the sooner you can survive out there in the big, bad world.