New Year’s Resolutions 2003

Last updated on March 9th, 2021 at 02:22 pm

As I step into 2003, I keep thinking about how much I want it to be a year of change, and what I need to do to get there. Having survived my first semester of university, I’ve stepped into a much different world than the one I knew before, and I’ll need new skills and abilities to navigate it. As such, I’ve come up with some New Year’s Resolutions to go along with it.

My 2003 New Year’s Resolutions

1) Get back in shape.

Alright, now I’m not exactly fat, but throughout high school, I was in much better shape than I am now, and didn’t wake up feeling like a sack of [expletive deleted]. I’m going to start with indoor training in my room and with the weights in the basement, and go to the park starting in the spring to get back to my endurance run training.

2) Get back in tune with the skills I already have.

I’ve been neglecting the gifts I was born with, and that’s a waste within itself. This year, I want to embrace things such as writing, painting, singing, and the things I’ve let deteriorate over time.

3) Acquire new skills.

Yup. Despite my mother’s best efforts to keep my knowledge down so that I can never ever move out, I’m going to have to teach myself some skills. Like sewing. I can use a needle and thread, but the machine is another matter entirely. I will be mending my clothes by 2004, dammit.

4) Clean up my room.

I believe that part of the reason why I feel so junky is because I live in a mess. Well, it’s not exactly a mess. It’s one big to-do list. I have articles to read, comics to create, that sort of thing. By 2004, I want to have gotten most of that stuff out of the way.

5) “What you say, what you say, UH. (Get money!)”

I admit this one might be a bit tougher. Money is something that one does not easily come across in the world today. Sure, I grew up in a middle-class family, but as I grew up, and my father worked his insanely long hours to support the family, I began to find out that I don’t want to live as he does. All he does is work. He works long hours managing his restaurant, and long hours doing all the handyman work around the house. I’m going to start up my own thing. There is money out there. Yes, legal money. All you have to know is where to look.

That said, I’m looking to start up a business in 2003 and also figure a way to manage my finances more effectively. I’ve always thought I’d be the type of person to end up in Esquire or Fortune, with some new innovative way of looking at things. We’ll see if that will become a reality!

6) Get a CAR.

The only reason why I’m not out with my friends more often is that I’m tired of mooching rides off of all of them. I’m going to go to a New Year’s Eve party with some of them, but after that, I intend to devote mad time to get my own ride. Well, maybe I’ll split with my middle brother—what happens, happens.

7) Take Some Time Away from AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ.

Anyone who’s used to talking to me on Instant Messenger or anything of the sort, won’t be seeing me around for a while. I’ve decided to just stay away from all of that for a few reasons:

  • They take up so much of my time
  • I need to be alone for a long, long time.
  • I’m starting to bark at people who I have no reason to bark at

I won’t uninstall them, because my brothers still use them, but yeah—until I deem myself better, I’ll prefer to stay off of them.

8) Be Happier.

I’ve definitely adopted a hyper-pessimistic view of the world. This needs to change. Sometimes I’m so grave and sullen it even scares me. I remember the days wayyyy back when, when I used to be happy all of the time, and I really want to try and recapture that feeling. So I’m going to try and smile more every day, think more positively, and forgive myself for my mistakes more. I know I can be better than I currently am.

9) Stop being afraid of girls.

Yes, the boy who can get along with virtually anyone is timid on the inside. The concepts of relationships and sex scare me, which is possibly why I haven’t had a physical girlfriend since like, the eighth grade. I don’t know; there are so many consequences and different levels of responsibility that come with it. I always say that I’m not ready for that kinda stuff, but do I really know that? Maybe I’ve just been alone for so long that I’ve gotten used to it?

10) Eat and sleep more!

Among other basic things I need to track, I need to eat and sleep more. Too often, I let these habits slip for some idiotic reason. 2003, I need to start managing my time better and cooking my own food. My mom has become way too busy for me to rely on her for everything, so I gotta start making some changes.

Hopefully, with these changes in mind, I can start to rebuild myself, and become content with being Casey Palmer once more. Wish me luck.

Peace y’all,

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Yet another update.

Last updated on March 9th, 2021 at 01:00 am

Well, here I am sitting around before I go off to work for noon. (It is 9am). A few things that have been going on lately:


I don’t think I’ve been coming off as too “nice” lately. It’s not that I’ve been trying to attack or slander everyone around me—far from it. It’s more like, I’m just keeping to myself for now. I find that in this mode, I get a lot more done in my life. Granted, it’s a far lonelier life, but I guess I’m so used to it, that I tend to push people away and just sit around sucking the proverbial thumb.

The downside is that it makes people angry with me because they feel I’m being selfish. Well, maybe I am. But when you grow up changing friends like you do underwear, you kind of get to this point where the only person you really trust is yourself. And what happens when trust you have in that one person begins to falter?


Xmas was aiight. Went to my uncle’s house and my grandma’s apartment, that’s about it. Nothing much else happened. I’m cool with the gifts I got—some cash and clothes. Don’t ask for much, don’t get much, but happy with what you get. That’s what I was taught


This is something I’ve been definitely lacking lately. I don’t know why it is, but I don’t seem to want to draw, or do anything. I prefer to sit around and do nothing these days. Seems to sit better with me

Smeh, that’s all for now. I’ll come back and write something else in a few days or so.

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So I was watching MuchMusic’s “Too Hot or Not” special today…

Last updated on March 9th, 2021 at 12:54 am

It was obviously all about whether music videos on a whole (approximately 98% of them—there was a large focus on Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” video) have become sexy, or simply sexist. Well. I have my own views on sex and music. They’ll be below if you really want to read them.

Well, here’s how it works. We all know that sex sells. It’s the truth of today. But has music come to the point where ONLY sex sells?

Okay, that last post was true, but just filler.

Last updated on April 13th, 2021 at 10:22 pm

Guess who’s back. Back again.

So it’s been a couple days since my last life update—haven’t really had time to get on the computer. So what to say today? Hm… ah. I know.

First, let us do a Pro/Con comparison of recent events.

1)A girl hit on me at work.

  • PRO: She was hot to death, 26, and asked me for my number. Definite pro.

  • CON: She was a teef. I was thinking with the dick and not my head, so I didn’t really notice at the time that her ID was forged and I never really bothered to look at the credit card all that much. So I guess I pretty much gave away a cold G. Idiot—I’m not making that mistake again anytime soon.

2)I haven’t been fighting with anyone lately.

  • PRO: Yup. Things’ve been pretty quiet. No online fights, no fights with the fam, all is still.

  • CON: I don’t fight because I don’t care. My compassion for the world has reached an all-time low, and I’m surprised that I curbed my suicidal tendencies years ago and that they haven’t resurfaced. *shrug* Oh well, it’s all for the better, right? (*crickets chirp all around him*)

Anyway, those are the two most recent. I also randomly met this guy on the bus last night, I don’t even know how we started talking. But he’s pretty cool, and him and I share some common interests and stuff, so that’s cool. At least there’s someone else to chat with.

*nod* No I’m not gay.

Next point: my man digi_tek suggested that the causation of me feeling like crap and whatnot and the emptiness I feel inside may be due to the lack of religion in my life. This is the perfect opportunity to present:


1) I believe in a higher power, but am reluctant to give it a name.

In my opinion, if I latch myself onto a specific religion, that I am shutting out the beliefs of all other possible religions. And that just ain’t right. What makes Christianity more valid than Hinduism. Or Buddhism better than Zionism. And yes, this one might be a stretch to the closed-minded, but what’s so wrong with Satanism? All I’m saying is that I abide more by spiritualism than religion, and my spirituality takes different elements from several religions, which I think makes it valid in itself.

2)People create the presence of deities in their minds to detract from their realities.

Alright, I also believe that the human race believes in higher powers that may or may not exist for several reasons:

  1. The constant belief that no matter what they do in life, if they try and pull a 180-degree turn, they will be able to absolve themselves of all their sins and make it into a happy afterlife
  2. They believe in religion when there’s nothing/no one else to believe in
  3. Many, after placing all their faith in religion, are blinded by it, not being able to see life for what it is, not able to see plain fact, or even worse, they try to force it upon others! It’s worse than drugs at times!
  4. I don’t find the Bible… accurate. Granted, the entire Revelations chapter does share some interesting aspects with reality, but my view upon the structure of time (which would take hella long to explain and justify), there would be a greater chance of the Big Bang happening (which I also believe is a stupid theory) than Adam and Eve
  5. If God kicked Satan out from Heaven, how come Satan has a stronger influence on Earth if he didn’t have more power than God to keep himself in Heaven?
  6. Ok, toughie. Now, if God = Jesus = The Holy Ghost, yet Mary had Jesus by immaculate conception through God… then God gave birth to Himself… which is impossible because He was still in Heaven and… etc etc…
  7. If God created all life, who created God?
  8. Bonus Question: Now God created Man in the image of Himself. But… he created Jesus in the image of Himself. And… if they’re both in the image of Himself, then Jesus = Man. But wait… if Jesus = God… then since Man = Jesus, Man = God… whoa. Well, that’s not good, now is it?

Okay, well you get the point. Anyway, I’m boring myself with this entry now, so I’ll stop before someone’s eyes start to bleed. Anyway, I’m a bit more cheerful after writing that out (and after eating some of mama’s good ol’ home cookin’), so I’m gonna jet and finish this essay on hip-hop’s effects on children and junk. Peace y’all.

See you when I look at you,

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Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself.

Last updated on May 4th, 2021 at 02:14 am

What’s the condensed version of my life story?

Well. Let’s start with some simple statistics, shall we?

Name: Only known to a selected few (and it’s best that you never knew)
DOB: July 15, 1983
Birthplace: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Residence: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Background: Jamaican

Alright, so I was born to a pair of Jamaican parents, who were reasonably strict in raising their first child. Yeah, that would be me. The memories of my childhood are few and far apart, and I don’t know whether this is because they lacked importance or if I have simply blocked them out. I come from your average middle-class family. Parents still together after 20 years of marriage, two younger brothers, altogether I suppose it’s a pretty drama-free domicile.

So the question is: “What’s wrong with me?”

Things That Are Potentially Wrong with Casey Palmer.

Ever since… maybe puberty? I’ve always felt out of place, like either there was something missing in my life, or I’m just not in the right place… the right planet. I even went through bouts of extreme depression and defeatism for a long time. But I’ve been told that it doesn’t make sense as I come from a very privileged life. Excuse me if my rambling begins to go all over the place. That’s the way I am sometimes—just random as hell.

So sometimes I feel like I’m an alien. Sometimes I can be all bubbly, and other times I’ll look like I’m ready to commit genocide. I don’t think there are times where I’ve smiled for more than five seconds at a time.

I’ve always experimented with a number of different hobbies to try and discover how I best express myself. I’ve tried drawing. Writing. Poetry. Website Development. Volunteering. Student Government. There’s been so much I’ve tried that I’m sure I’m missing stuff.

I’ve been so busy trying to discover that having fun is now a concept that’s fairly alien to me. I don’t drink or smoke, those things just don’t seem to appeal to me for some reason, and when I see other people getting their rocks off of it, it just kinda makes me wish that I had taken a different path in life so that I could enjoy life. Like a normal kid and not some child prodigy.

But then I realize, “Nah, I’m a smart kid. I’m not ugly. I’m athletic. I have a good personality,” and dismiss those thoughts. Well, not totally, but I get to thinking about other things.

Anyway, that’s me. The kid who has multiple personalities (I’ll get into that later), but yearns to be someone else. I’m boring myself right now, so another instalment will come later.

In conclusion, I don’t know who I am or what I stand for. I guess that’s what life is all about. Finding these things out.

Anyway, I’m gonna go enjoy my day or something.


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