The Importance of Sharing Fatherhood Stories

Last updated on May 20th, 2021 at 01:26 am

One thing I’ve love to see from my fellow dads this Father’s Day is for all of us to learn to communicate better.

I know—it might be the last thing on your mind with everything else you’ve got going on, but it’s because we keep so quiet about our experiences that the world’s so slow to change.

Live from the 3.5, 2020 2 — Do We Even NEED a Black History Month — Black Dad Reading to their Kid
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By the numbers here in Canada, moms and dads aren’t all that different, with 5.5 million moms to the 4.5 million dads we have. But even without doing exhaustive research to validate this, we only have dozens of dad creators sharing their stories as opposed to the thousands of mom creators doing the same.

The difference is that while moms are great communicators, establishing communities for advice, support and safe spaces to share their stories, it’s taken us much longer to do that for ourselves. And even when we do, it’s only in private groups of our peers, so the world can’t see every side of ourselves instead of just the positive aspects we want the world to see. It’s a bit better than what we were taught—to bottle our thoughts and feelings up inside—but we still have a long way to go before we represent ourselves with any justice.

Why Fatherhood Stories Are So IMPORTANT.

I get it, though—I almost didn’t become a dad blogger myself, thinking that parenthood would make me too busy to keep up with a blog. But when some forward-thinking friends helped me see that the Canadian market sorely lacked fatherhood content, I kept writing about my experiences, and nearly eight years later, here we are.

But things won’t change based on my stories alone.

What IS a Father? The Definition of a Dad.

Last updated on May 20th, 2021 at 01:25 am

WHAT is a father, ANYWAY?

When people ask “what is a father”, that’s something I’ve struggled to adequately answer for years.

A photo of Casey with his infant son, with Casey asleep behind a very alert seven-month-old. (circa 2014)
I wish this were staged, but no — I was completely zonked when this was taken, and he was raring to go for the day!

Through my many years spent as a dad blogger, I’ve tried repeatedly to create work that explains how I see myself as a dad. I’ve floundered over and over again in the process, never seeming to find the right words to fit, but it’d eventually be my newfound love for search engine optimization that’d give me some guidance on the kinds of things that people want to know about being a dad. Not all the questions go super deep, with many just at the beginning of the journey, but those questions gave me the building blocks I needed to tell my story in a way that others would understand.

And I think it’s important that I do—we have this oversimplified idea of what a father’s supposed to be, force-fed to us by a society who saw the dad as one thing. The father as the silent, grumpy disciplinarian, meant to be respected and feared. The one-dimensional dad who can throw a ball or barbecue a steak, but has little to offer by the way of household or emotional support.

But in 2021, I think we want to strive for a new standard, finding ways to show the world what the #DadLife’s really about instead of the stereotype we keep clinging to.

I’m Casey Palmer, and I’m a dad. Let me tell you a little of what that’s all about.

Forty Days to Father’s Day: The Intro

Last updated on May 20th, 2021 at 01:25 am

Forty Days to Father’s Day: Why I Decided to Write a Fatherhood Series

With Mother’s Day come and gone for another year, I’ve started thinking about Father’s Day and everything around it.

Many might think it’s too early for that—especially since we’re only days after the marketing onslaught that Mother’s Day always brings with it and we’d all like time to recover—but let me tell you a bit about how fathers see Father’s Day and why I’m already talking about it almost six weeks out.

Casey Palmer and his boys sitting on the couch, circa 2016.

Compared to Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is a bit of a joke. Despite a growing number of men who are taking fatherhood very seriously, trying to change how the world sees us, there are a lot of past transgressions we need to overcome before dads are seen as people to be celebrated instead of simply tolerated.

It was something I’d notice as I started doing research for my book—a look at how the world saw its fathers:

“Why is my dad so angry?”

“Why do dads leave?”

“What is it like to have a dad?”

Compared to mothers, it feels like the world’s view on fathers can be overwhelmingly negative, and that has a whole lot to do with why Father’s Day feels like more of a concession than the celebration that we’d like it to be.

You hear it often, though, when it comes to raising kids—when faced with problems that feel so insurmountable because we see them wherever we look, there’s only one thing we can do to try and make things better:

We need to create the world we want to live in.

A Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gift Guide

Last updated on May 5th, 2021 at 10:39 am

So it’s a week before Mother’s Day and much like every year, there are far too many people who leave their shopping to the last minute, failing to get the mothers in their lives the gifts they deserve for the occasion. I’ve heard far too many stories of  flowers bought in a rush at the local grocery store or gift cards to “that place she likes”, but even if you tell yourself it’s the thought that counts, here’s the problem:

One just needs a few clicks on a computer and the other you probably got ’cause you forgot.

What moms want this Mother’s Day is to feel appreciated, because as most parents can tell you, it takes a whole lot of effort to raise kids.

And that appreciation might need a little more than the carnations sitting next to the cashier at cash #7.

So that in mind, I wanted to create a last-minute guide for everyone out there who’s struggling to find a great gift idea this Mother’s Day. It’s a little challenging, especially somewhere where the COVID-19 pandemic is keeping us in our homes with a stay-at-home order in effect and in-person shopping just isn’t an option, but it’s not impossible—there are plenty of shops who offer virtual options, delivery or have plenty of great pick-up options available up to the day before Mother’s Day!

So without further ado, I’d like to welcome you to Casey Palmer, Canadian Dad’s Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gift Guide, full of ideas that’ll make sure to put a smile on Mom’s face when she opens it next Sunday! While some might not feel that a full week before Mother’s Day isn’t truly last-minute, that thinking’s what got us here in the first place.

Let me help you do better this year.

My Heart Matters: Dealing with Type 2 Diabetes

Diabetes—a disease that everybody’s heard about, but so few people understand. For Canadians living with type 2 diabetes, heart disease is the number one cause of death, with 50% of deaths due to some form of cardiovascular disease. Type 2 diabetes can reduce life expectancy by as much as fifteen years. You can help better manage combat diabetes through diet and exercise, sure, but if you have type 2 diabetes and a family history of heart disease, healthy lifestyle habits might not be enough to protect your heart. Through this post, I want to educate you all about diabetes (all opinions based on personal experience), and if you have type 2 diabetes, to inspire you to take an active role in protecting your heart.

Let me tell you some more!

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