Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

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Last updated on February 20th, 2024 at 10:26 pm

We often do a verbal dance with one another.

For instance:

  • When we don’t want our parents to find out about what we did the night before
  • When we’re trying to hold ourselves back from saying something that we KNOW will piss the other person off and likely hurt their feelings
  • When you’re trying to avoid getting pegged with something that could damage your reputation or credibility

The different dance steps come in several flavours: fibs, lies, white lies, omissions of truths and euphemisms, to name a few.

I’m pretty sure that we’re dancing the wrong dance here.

DON’T give people the run-around, forcing them to try and read between the lines of what you’re saying, unpacking the true meaning of the words you give them.

DO be upfront and honest with people from the get-go.

Say what you mean; mean what you say.

I touched on this briefly a while back, but honesty is a damn good policy, and that’s not something that’s going to change any time soon! When I speak about “honesty”, though, it’s not as simple as just not lying—there’s more to it than that:

  • Getting the message you mean to say out the first time without sugarcoating it
  • Not omitting any pertinent details when asked a question
  • Not making up stories to make other people feel better

It’s better to say what you want to say the first time. Why?

The Pros and Cons of Saying What You Mean


  • It takes less time since you’re getting your thoughts out the first time
  • Getting stuff out of your system will take a weight off of your shoulders
  • Not lying means less to remember, meaning you can use that lovely grey matter for more productive activities


  • You might not get the reaction you’re hoping for
  • The truth can destroy relationships forever (though if someone was doing something bad enough to make this happen, perhaps the relationship shouldn’t have continued in the first place)
  • Once you’re caught in a lie, it’s tough to get that trust back!

So think about it. Think about getting the right (and true) words out the first time and not wasting so much time skirting around things because you’re worried about the fallout. Who knows, the fallout may never come, and you’ll be better off not harbouring things inside that are better off not bothering you at all.

And if it has to do with me, feel free to let me know any time.

But I can give you about 100% certainty that you’ll get it right back, so choose those words and choose them WELL.

The second logo for Casey Palmer, Canadian Dad



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