32 Things I Know Now That I’m 32: #13 — If You Won’t Believe in Yourself, Who Will?

I’ve learned to steadfastly believe in myself and that I can do anything I put my mind to, because expecting anyone else to without them being in my head feels unrealistic. I’m not high on myself — I speak very matter-of-factly about my #BloggerLife and everything it’s given me ’til now — but this world frowns on tooting your own horn, preferring that you fall in line and do what society expects of you. And that same world is the one with everyone too afraid to lend each other a hand, burned by life so often that they’re unable to trust without tangible proof that they should bother.

The world wants most of us convinced that success isn’t in our futures, making things infinitely harder for anyone straying from the norm. It values conformity not conviction, obeisance over originality — if you want a destiny you can truly call your own, you’ll need to do more than just walk the walk and talk the talk… your principles need to live through every fibre of your being so the world can see you stand tall in your beliefs!

But are you willing to do everything you must to go all the way?

32 Things I Know Now That I'm 32- #13 — If You Won't Believe in Yourself, Who Will- — Finding Your WayMany bloggers I’ve known were full of passion and energy — but they, like myself, pointed it all in the wrong direction. Party harder. Blog faster. These were the things we’d do as we struggled to get noticed, trying to be the first bloggers out the gate rather than be the ones who did things best.

But what’s the point of shouting when you’ve got nothing to say?

Bell’s Palsy and Learning to Live with it

Last Updated: November 15, 2020


Though I’m known for being lucky, it’s important to remember that there are two kinds of luck—good luck and bad luck. 2012 saw a lot of great luck—the spoils of which will carry over into 2013—but I’m at a man of extremes, and the other shoe had to drop sometime.

I was planning to come out swinging in 2013 with blogs, new content and a fire in my belly that the world hadn’t seen before. 2012 had been ramping up to some serious moves, and I was excited to show what I was capable of!

But then I got sick.

A meme I made of my face affected by Bell's palsy

It came out of nowhere—one day I was fine, living life as usual, but the next thing you know, I’m losing hearing in one ear. And then it turned into an external infection and sharp headaches, and on New Year’s Eve, I suddenly couldn’t move the entire left side of my face.

I’d come down with a sudden case of Bell’s Palsy.

It doesn’t take a grievous illness to throw you off of your game. Some illnesses, while not life-threatening, can deliver a real blow to your ego and confidence.

Here’s my story of how Bell’s Palsy affected me.

Two-Face: My Battle With Bell’s Palsy

A profile shot of my face affected by Bell's Palsy
“We thought we could be decent men, in an indecent time.” — Two-Face, The Dark Knight, 2008

So what is Bell’s Palsy, anyway?

Like I said, imagine not being able to move an entire side of your face. What Bell’s Palsy is is a viral infection that inhibits the movement of your muscles in your face. You can have it on either side or across your entire face. We still don’t fully know what causes it or how you treat it—there’s lots that we can try, but nothing’s guaranteed.

Ciprodex. Cephalex. Valtrex. We tried a number of different medicines over weeks to try and remedy the problem, but nothing actually seemed to stick.

Dealing with the bouts of pain and decreased abilities that come with Bell’s has definitely been a challenge, but I’m trying all sorts of methods to win this battle. Doctors, vitamins, facial massages, acupuncture — I don’t take something like this lightly, but we often need to show patience in the face of adversity and just see it through.

Me Sick? That’s UNPOSSIBLE!

A look at the antibiotics I've been on these past few weeks.
Ciprodex, Cephalex, Valtrex, oh my!!!

Palmers are generally very resilient human beings. My little brother Adrian has survived through countless illnesses in his youth, while my baby brother Brian managed to get into all sorts of trouble and emerged unscathed. Me, I’m rarely sick, never broken any bones, needed surgery or had to go to a hospital outside of volunteer shifts and the odd illness.

So you can imagine how disconcerting it is, being sick with something that sleep and a few extra litres of water just won’t fix.

Being diagnosed with something potentially incurable is never any fun. The waiting. The “will it? won’t it?” thinking that you go through while you’re stuck with the symptoms. Thinking that if you can just get through this one, you’ll make sure it never happens again!

At first, I felt self-conscious about it and didn’t want to speak to anyone. I didn’t want anyone seeing me at anything less than 100%.

But these are the hurdles that we need to overcome in our lives day after day.

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I’m not cool enough.”

“I’m not handsome enough.”

Rock the Bell’s

In its own twisted way, I feel like this has been a lesson in getting over myself. A lesson in getting past my exterior and focusing on becoming better in general. While I’d love to regain full motor control of my face, if it takes weeks, months, or never even heals — I still have a blog to write. A job to do. A life to live with my family and friends.

A facial flaw is not the end of the world.

So while it slowed me down, it’s time for me to get back on my game and do what I came out to do in the first place — create awesome content in 2013!

I’m far from invincible, but Bell’s Palsy ain’t gonna break my stride. 2013’s all about the promise of the future — not dwelling on the troubles that plague us today.

How’s your 2013 looking so far?

–case p.