Any content creator lamenting for the “good ol’ days” is one who’s just not ready for change.
It’s time to get back to basics.
The digital landscape isn’t one that’s ever still. We’ve come a long way from blogging’s humble beginnings, where we had these stand-alone sites that held all the content. I’m sure the bloggers back then couldn’t have seen any of this coming—in a world where you got your video from sketchy Russian sites instead of the juggernaut that’s YouTube in 2018, you just had to have a very different view of how everything worked.
But change was afoot, and soon social media would alter the way things worked forever. While we’d still have a handful of creators who stood out from the rest, now we had access to them like never before—everyone had a voice.
Bloggers simply weren’t ready for all that came next.
The name of the game is mediocrity. Mediocre blogs that don’t share anything worth reading; people who skip birthdays for mediocre events; mediocre personalities, expectations and lives. No one’s striving for anything amazing anymore.
And it boggles my mind—everything’s literally within reach, but when people find out how much work it takes to build a personal brand and cultivate it to the point where people actually want to read what you write, they just give up. They rather spend time telling you it “must be nice” than to build anything meaningful for themselves, letting themselves fail before they’ve really given anything a shot—and I can’t go for that.
I stopped listening to the haters a long time ago—no more of the people who thought I was “setting myself up for disappointment” when they hear my lofty dreams or peers willing to create content that was simply “good enough”; I’ve spent many years getting to know myself, and can tell you that if I don’t keep pushing to get better with every piece I put out, I may as well quit now, ‘cuz I know I won’t make it through.
But I get it—I get that some people only got in this hustle to get their money and go, not overly concerned about what they leave behind as long as they get their cheque. That there’s a literal army of bloggers who don’t give two cares about standing out, long as there’s a shortcut or two to feed their bottom line.
But there’s no cheat sheet that’ll tell you how to reach the top of the heap. No membership guide that’ll tell you when you’ve “made it”, and the perks you can expect at each stage of the game. This is something you need to build for yourself, doing it because it fuels you, pumping through your veins—those who’ve come out looking for an easy payday quickly realize this grind demands more than most are willing to give, and it’s the few who know they need more than money from it all who’ll still be here in the end.
Which is why I’m losing my mind trying to get back on my horse after what feels like an eternity spent without a solid blog post out.
Before heading out on a 10-day trip to Mexico to see my sister-in-law get married in a little place called Tequesquitengo, I could feel it creeping in on me from all sides—a heap of sponsored content that wasn’t going to write itself; plenty of action with the 9-5 that needed handling before I took the time off; and a very comprehensive to-do list that wasn’t going away without doing what I needed to do as a Dad and doing right by my family. It’s easy enough to call yourself a blogger—slap a few words together, add a few photos and call it a day—but putting out content that’ll do any better than the stuff you’d find in a local community newsletter is a full-time gig unto itself.
It’s a struggle, though—I’ve spent countless hours trying to find myself: working past the sponsored posts to examine some deeply rooted parts of my soul—my ever-changing life as a father, trying to do the best I can for my children without sacrificing the things that make me who I am. Further studies into life as a Black man in one of the most diverse cities on the face of the planet. I’ve been so caught up in the hustle that I’ve failed to feed my soul, and that’s something that’ll need changing if I don’t want to get reacquainted with burnout.
But knowing what I want to write and doing it justice are two different things—have I led the kind of life that makes me qualified to discuss any of it? Can I write the kind of stuff that’ll matter years down the road, or am I chasing an ideal I’ll never manage to touch, stuff that’s no better than any of my peers?
This is what keeps me up at night—knowing how badly I want to reach my potential, but not knowing if I’ll ever get there. Though I’ve written long enough and hard enough to be confident that my work can do great things, I still can’t convince myself it has what it takes to change lives. Or that it can do any more than simply take up digital space and do any better than the uninspired memes and uninformed opinions that already constantly plague us.
I sit here, and I’ve yet to be convinced that my work can outlast me.
And that’s what it really comes down to—I want so badly to create classics that the pressure I put on myself sometimes halts me in my steps… but we all know there’s only one way I’m going to reach my goal, and that’s to keep on writing.
So that’s exactly what I’ll do.
Be Mediocre if You Want—But Remember; Hard Work ALWAYS Pays Off.
These moments where self-doubt takes hold and I start questioning whether I’ll actually manage to make something valuable from my efforts, I have to remind myself of the things I’ve accomplished already, and how I would’ve called it quits a long time ago if I listened to everyone telling me what they thought I couldn’t do. That I couldn’t be successful if I strayed from the safe path—that a stable job, good family and debt-free existence were as far as my dreams should go. That I couldn’t exceed my life’s station—that a life without trust funds, Ivy League schools and family connections could only take me so far, and that I should leave greatness for those better equipped for it… it’s simply not meant for a lowly commoner like myself. Sure—I look at my peers who show up on the scene more often; the ones travelling across the globe and going to the hottest events… and while it’s obvious to me that this would’ve been easier when I was younger and childless, you don’t just quit because something gets harder.
You just get better at it and figure out what works for you.
So I hope you didn’t miss me too much, but the boy is back—you can only let a cloud hang overhead for so long before it’s time to get yourself together and move on; when it feels like the world’s trying to hold you back, that’s when you shine your boots, stand tall, and remind it that ain’t nobody got time for that.
But the hustle continues and I’ve still a million and one other things that I could be doing, so I’m gonna get back to it. If you made it this far down the post, kudos to you, and I’ll tell you this—if the 2016 we’ve seen so far is any indication of things to come, we’ve still got a very interesting year ahead of us!
Thanks for continuing to check the blog out and until the next,
Tell your wife, tell your kids, tell your husbands:
After everything we’ve seen through February with the Tales from the 2.9, I wanted to end on a great note with someone who’s seen a community grow from its beginning, and ’round these parts of the nation, that goes back to ’60s/’70s Toronto where the first Caribbean immigrants came in search of better lives for the generations to follow—exactly what my parents and grandparents did to give my brothers and I the lives we have today! And who better to illustrate this than Samantha Kemp-Jackson, who grew up and raised kids of her own through those decades of change?
Sam’s submission for Tales says it as it is—that Black Canadians often fail to know their own history, our stories often overshadows by the Black American narrative ever-present in our collective consciousness. That we have a lot of preconceptions to work past if we want to grow as a society. That through sharing our collective stories, we understand one another far better than we might should we continue keeping it all to our own individual circles.
Samantha Kemp-Jackson is a successful parenting writer, blogger, public speaker and frequent media spokesperson. She regularly discusses the various triumphs and trials of parenting via her blog, Multiple Mayhem Mamma as well as on various media outlets including The Huffington Post, CTV Canada AM and CBC Radio. Since starting her blog in 2011, she’s become a much-sought-out media commentator and parenting expert, having appeared on and given interviews to CBC Marketplace (February 2015), Reuters, Canadian Press, CTV News, Global News, Maclean’s, Newstalk 1010, Entertainment Tonight, The Toronto Star, The Globe and Mail, The National Post and many more.
For over a year, Sam was the resident Parenting Columnist on CBC Radio One’s “Fresh Air” weekend program, dispensing parenting advice and insight on a regular basis. Having children of the most diverse age range of anyone she knows, her “claim to fame” is that she’s a rare breed of folk who has the dubious distinction of having raised children in four decades: the ‘80’s, ‘90’s, ‘00’s and the ‘10’s.
Most recently, Sam’s unique story was profiled in the November 2015 edition of Toronto Life (full story here), as well as on Canada AM (clip here), where she has regularly appeared as part of the program’s “Parenting Panel.” For a more detailed overview of her broadcast and print media interviews, please visit her media page, here.
In Sam’s professional life, she’s a strategic, senior-level communicator, writer and media relations expert with 25 years of professional experience working with both the public and private sectors. Currently, she provides senior-level Writing, Communications Strategy and Digital Support via her independent consultancy, Triple M Communications. She’s also an undercover tech geek (having worked in Technology PR for most of her communications career) and a lover of Social Media. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
1) When you think of Black History Month, what are some of the stories and images that come to mind?
Growing up in Canada, particularly in the ’70’s and ’80’s, a lot of the Black history that was taught was written from an American perspective. While the experiences of our Black neighbours south of the border were and are compelling, there were very little “homegrown” stories to which I could relate. As the first generation of children born to Jamaican parents who went through the very typical West Indies-to-the United Kingdom-to-Canada route, I would have loved to have heard more stories and experiences of other Black Caribbean Canadians like me.
At elementary school, we learned about American slavery with a slight tip of the hat to our Canadian forebearers who also suffered incredible hardship. We knew that they existed but didn’t know enough about them. I do hope that the curriculum at school has changed since then. I know all about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad but would have liked to learn more about the men, women and children on the Canadian end who made lives for themselves in spite of their incredibly difficult circumstances.
2) The Black Experience we’re largely exposed to in the media is that of our southern neighbours and the struggles they’ve faced. What’s your experience been as a Black person in Canada, and what have you learned from it?
Absolutely, as I noted in the first question, our experience here is heavily influenced by the experiences of our southern neighbours. While it would be great to think that we’re insulated from many of the injustices that have resulted in the “Black Lives Matter” movement, unfortunately, we’re not. In Canada, we still have systemic racism and have a ways to go before we can say that we’re completely free of discrimination and prejudicial treatment against people of colour. Perhaps we’re more polite about it and it’s definitely not as overt as in the States, but it does exist, sadly.
In terms of experiences, there are so many to choose from as is likely the case with most Black people who have grown up as minorities in their country of residence. Hmm…
I guess the preconceptions and stereotypes that people have about me before they even meet me, or when they just meet me, without even having spoken to me. And Casey—you say that “Casey Palmer” invokes visions of a blonde woman, and that people are surprised when they meet you? I completely understand, as “Samantha Kemp-Jackson” apparently doesn’t match who I am either, and I’ve had many surprised looks in the pre-Google days, when I walked into a job interview, a meeting or event. In a way, I’m now thankful that people know what they’re getting when they meet me as Googling someone before you meet them is the way things are normally done in this digital age, aren’t they?
3) In sharing your voice with the world, what impression do you hope to leave on the world with everything you do?
When I started blogging, I didn’t do so to be known as a “Black Blogger” or to blog about race-related issues. Blogging was really just a way for me to get my thoughts out on what I was experiencing during my third round of parenting (with twins, no less!). Since that time, I’ve had more digital presence and my hope is that people can read my blog and get advice, tips, insight and opinion, but also appreciate the diversity that exists in the blogosphere. We’re here and we’ve got something to say, and a range of voices is always a good thing!
4) We all benefit from good mentors who guide us along the way to make sure we reach our potential in life. Who was your mentor to teach you from a cultural standpoint, and what’s the greatest lesson you learned from them?
Am I allowed to say my parents? Because honestly, the person that I am today is because of them. Despite my mistakes, missteps and failures, they always were there for me and always taught me to be strong, be proud of who I was, and to believe that I could do anything I wanted to do. Thanks, Mom and Dad! Love you!
5) If you could say just one thing to the rest of the 2.9%, what would it be?
So glad you’re out there and I look forward to hearing more of your voices, digitally or otherwise!
Compiling a project like Tales from the 2.9 isn’t always simple when you’re competing with various schedules, Valentine’s Day plans, and everything that you already should be doing when blogging’s not your full-time gig. That in mind, I pulled every trick out of my bag, including reaching out to a world of potential sources through Help a Reporter, which is how I got introduced to Sandra Dawes.
Sandra’s submission deals with—among other things—the problem with perception. As an educated MBA-wielding Black woman, she’s seen her share of injustice, and you can check out some of her story below!
About Sandra Dawes
Sandra Dawes is a recovering control freak and excuse maker who works with clients struggling to do the same. She holds an Honours BA, an MBA as well as a certificate in Dispute Resolution. After the passing of her father and circumstances that followed, she was lead on a journey of self-awareness and forgiveness that changed her life in deep and meaningful ways. Sandra enjoys spending time with friends and family, her partner Satnam, her dog Lulu, as well as writing articles for her blog www.embraceyourdestiny.ca. She published her first book in the fall of 2013 titled: Embrace Your Destiny: 12 Steps to Living the Life You Deserve!
1) When you think of Black History Month, what are some of the stories and images that come to mind?
I think about the civil rights movement in the US. Canadian images that come to mind are influential figures such as Lincoln Alexander, Jean Augustine and other community leaders who have made a positive impact on our local communities for decades. I see them as trailblazers. They were able to achieve significant advances at a time when it was even less commonplace than it is today, especially in the political realm.
2) The Black Experience we’re largely exposed to in the media is that of our southern neighbours and the struggles they’ve faced. What’s your experience been as a Black person in Canada, and what have you learned from it?
My Dad was very big on making sure I knew my history. He had cassette tapes with recordings of people giving seminars on historical events, the challenges of the Black community and the importance of being proud of who you are.
I am amazed at how low the expectations are for some people when they meet a Black person. I am frequently met with surprise when asked about my level of education. There have been many job interviews where I was met with what I’ll call shock. There’s nothing on my resume that gives any hints at my ethnicity. Unfortunately, I don’t think my face is what many interviewers are expecting. I haven’t gone on a job interview for a while, so I’m hoping that’s changed!
3) In sharing your voice with the world, what impression do you hope to leave on the world with everything you do?
My intention is to be remembered for inspiring others to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. It’s what I’m striving for on a daily basis in my own life!
4) We all benefit from good mentors who guide us along the way to make sure we reach our potential in life. Who was your mentor to teach you from a cultural standpoint, and what’s the greatest lesson you learned from them?
I would have to say my Dad was my mentor. He taught me to be proud of who I am regardless of what anyone else may think or say. He encouraged me to do the best I could and take pride in everything I did. He taught me that hard work is rewarded; we just have to be patient. The greatest lesson I learned from him was that I should love what I do, not the money it may provide.
5) If you could say just one thing to the rest of the 2.9%, what would it be?
Our numbers may be small, but our power and influence are great! It’s time to collaborate in a way that benefits us all.
I’ll admit—being born in Mississauga but spending much of my life in downtown Toronto where I worked, dated and went to school, I’ve likely thought The Big Smoke the centre of the universe at least once. With much of our country’s 2.9% Black population living in the 8.5% of the 6ix that identifies the same, one can ignorantly forget at times that there are Black people everywhere—not just in Drake’s hometown.
But today’s contributor isn’t about to let that slide. Though Brampton is but a stone’s throw from the T-Dot, Torontonians write it off far too quickly, lumping it together with the rest of the suburbs in the surrounding area, failing to give it the recognition it deserves for everything it offers!
Amongst a number of initiatives designed to strengthen and empower Black people in the General Toronto area, J.D. Amin’s the founder of #BramptonRises, which connects, informs and inspires the new leaders of his city, and though we’ve yet to formally cross paths, I’d imagine he’d take none too kindly to those who dismiss Brampton without a second thought! His submission for Tales from the 2.9 helps illustrate that while Black History Month is a step in the right direction, we’ve still numerous issues to overcome if we ever want to see a Black community that’s treated just like everyone else.
But I’ll let the man speak for himself. Enjoy J.D.’s thoughts below!
J.D. Amin is the founder of BramptonRises#, which created the intellectual property #BramptonRises. The platform was founded in 2012 to engage, connect, and inspire the new leaders of Brampton. The organization had had different phases and will be going in a new direction for 2016 and beyond. Rest assured, we will never change. Follow us on Twitter! #BramptonRises above and beyond. Don’t believe us, just watch.
J.D. Amin is also a founding member of the Pages on Fire writers collective. An anti-oppression writers group that host events and facilitate writers workshops all across the GTA. Past events include the highly reviewed “Black Futures” series, which encouraged participants to envision a better future, which we hoped would be the first steps to achieve it. Follow us on Twitter @PagesOnFire or on facebook.com/PagesOnFire.
J.D. Amin also writes for 4CornersBrampton.com. 4C is a website designed to connect the Brampton community. We present an exciting and engaging way to experience the food, culture, art and life of Brampton. With a team dedicated to providing the best of Brampton, we present stories that get you excited about our community.
1) When you think of Black History Month, what are some of the stories and images that come to mind?
Black history month reminds me of the unfortunate reality that in our modern Western society black history begins with slavery or colonialism. The entire month makes slavery seem like the “big bang” of Black existence. “Black history” before slavery is rarely if ever acknowledged.
2) The Black Experience we’re largely exposed to in the media is that of our southern neighbours and the struggles they’ve faced. What’s your experience been as a Black person in Canada, and what have you learned from it?
Canada has been great for me and my family. I am confident I haven’t felt the intensity of institutionalized racism that is seemingly the “American way”.
However, there are unique challenges one faces being black in multicultural Canada. For one there is still basic level—and frankly stupid, racist tendencies or prejudices in people, of all colours. We are inundated with so many messages and images of black negativity it subtly shifts our perceptions of each other. Sometimes, even your fellow “black person” will look at you sideways in certain situations. One has to be constantly aware of those biases and tendencies and subsequently watch for their own reaction. Or else stupid situations will tend to escalate quickly, or 0 to 100 real quick! As intoned in some circles…
Secondly, the concept of multiculturalism has created a false sense of smug self-satisfaction amongst Canadians when we really want to speak about race issues. Even though we are multicultural in regional demographics, due to media and old-time misconceptions we still see the world in the dichotomy of black and white. Everyone in between uses that to create their cultural context.
The fact that we as a group have to be called by a colour, and the dominant society is the opposite colour, is a doomed proposal from the start. Only an alien invasion or robot uprising can change it…
3) In sharing your voice with the world, what impression do you hope to leave on the world with everything you do?
You have to think differently. It may sound like a marketing slogan, but it’s real life! Once you think differently enough, new ideas and solutions present themselves. Just do it, anyone can…
4) We all benefit from good mentors who guide us along the way to make sure we reach our potential in life. Who was your mentor to teach you from a cultural standpoint, and what’s the greatest lesson you learned from them?
This one is easy. My parents. They taught the value of hard work and being a straight-up good person. Our “operating systems” aren’t exactly compatible, but we DEFINITELY agree on that uncompromising principle.
5) If you could say just one thing to the rest of the 2.9%, what would it be?
Don’t get caught up in the hype of negativity. A positive life is a magical life. Oh, and watch out for Brampton, I heard the city rises….
