#BlackDadWorries | Worrying About Raising Black Children in a World That Doesn’t Value Them.

Yesterday, thanks to the advice from a friend to save my Instagram story to my profile, I came up with a new hashtag #BlackDadWorries that spells out how I feel in the face of all this death. And death isn’t even calling it what it is—murder, with Black lives continually cut short, and the message made clear: there’s nowhere out there where Black people should reasonably expect to be safe from a world that’s trying to get them.

#BlackDadWorries — My Two Boys in the Kitchen My boys are still young, but they’re growing up quick, developing worlds and lives of their own. And while I’d love just to sit back and let them develop on their own so they can build senses of self in the truest sense of the phrase… the world we live in won’t let me do it. Yes, they’re six and four, but they’re six- and four-year-olds who hear they look “dirty” because their skin is darker. Six- and four-year-olds who hear they’re not white enough to play with other kids. I’d love to take things slow, but their world’s developing quickly, and it makes me wonder when I’ll need to sit them down and tell them what the world’s really like.

The Life and Times of Casey Palmer — The State of the #BloggerLife, February 2019: Do Less Better.


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One thing I’ve been particularly horrible at is learning to say “no”.

The Long Road to Becoming a Better Blogger

They say hindsight’s 20/20, and if my old report cards are an indication of anything, the people around me could see I was sowing the seeds to my destruction long before I could.

The Life and Times of Casey Palmer — The State of the #BloggerLife, February 2019 — Do Less Better. — The Pile of Work

We all know there’re only twenty-four hours in a day, but I’ve been working to optimise every minute of my days since I was twelve. I could sleep when I was dead—I had too many ideas and a plethora of interests; it was all about the short-term pain for the long-term gain, and I was confident that I’d reach the day where I wouldn’t need to work so hard anymore.

But it’s been more than twenty years of sleepless nights and wishful thinking since, and I’m still not quite so sure when I’ll figure it all out.

I mean, the question is this—how do you succeed with your content when you can’t make it your everything?

Chatting with Casey 0013 — It Takes Two to Tango in Friendship

It’s always nice to take a break from our lives and spend a little time on vacation, but when you own your own business, you need to plan for that.

Eight Tiny Reindeer, Two Great Friends, One Awesome Episode!

One thing 2018’s taught me is that I need to get ahead of my schedule if I ever want to spend any time apart from it.

Chatting With Casey 0013 — It Takes Two to Tango in Friendship — Rob, Casey and Carlos

The last third of this year’s had me hustle to get everything off my plate, knowing that as soon as the holidays finish, I have substantial obstacles ahead. So I’ve been working days, weeks and even months ahead to create my best content to avoid ever being backed into a corner again.

And this podcast episode’s no exception.

Recorded on November 15, 2018, after plenty of texts back and forth between Carlos Diaz and myself, Chatting with Casey episode 13 started up with a misbehaving SD card, quick sprints to Shoppers and Rexall, and the hope that one day I get myself a studio so I can do these conversations justice.

But regardless, it was a great convo between Carlos Diaz, Rob Tinkler and myself, and I hope you’ll be ready when 8 Tiny Reindeer debuts this Saturday—may you enjoy listening to it as much as these guys did making it!

But for now, you can hear all about it on the podcast!

Chatting with Casey 0003 — Give Me Some Room to Fail

Work at something hard enough, and you eventually hit a point where everything starts to click.

I’ve been grinding away especially hard at the blog, the job, and everything in between of late, trying to make sense of everything and cut down on the clutter that’s always in the way. And after working my way through requisitioning a purchase order at work and finally getting a few elusive posts within mere sentences of completion, it all finally came together. What I should be doing.

And it’ll take so much writing to get there!

Chatting with Casey 0003 — Give Me Some Room to Fail — Casey at FanExpo's Artist Alley

So the plan is this—we’re gonna keep creating ’til the wheels come off. Sarah has this dream—that one day I’ll be able to exist without my mind always thinking about what I’ll next use to fill my content calendar.

And you know what? It’s entirely possible… I just need to get ahead. Schedule content ahead so I can step away for weeks at a time without worry. Get back to seeing the people I haven’t managed to connect with in ages.

Short-term pain. Long-term gain. We can make it happen!

The 2017 100 Wrap-Up — 31 Successes.


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Several weeks, a few dozen photos and four thousand words later, we’ve finally made it—the Casey Palmer, Canadian Dad 2017 wrap-up, filled with stories aplenty of 365 days spent in my not-so-orthodox life.

The 2017 100 — 31 Successes. — Leather 2017 Planner
Kelly Jean

After wrapping the year up on a quiet note (because two sick children under five will do that to you), I still felt it necessary to do this. These year-to-year changeovers offer a lot of perspective for me—with so much happening all the time, I often forget what I had for breakfast, so I write everything down. And if the height of the pile on my desk is any sign, 2017 was quite the year. But it’s also the time where I’m the most transparent, looking back objectively at everything I’ve done and celebrating successes, owning up to failures, hoping all the while that I’m somehow growing from the process.

But yeah—let’s do this as we did in 2016: look at the year in excruciating detail, figuring out what’s worth taking with me into 2018 versus what just don’t feel part of my world anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present—the 31 things I did well in 2017! Let’s get it!

The Life and Times of the Palmer Family — NaBloPoMo Day 10 — This is 4.

Hey kiddo,

You’ll often hear me joke that we’re simply graduating from the “Terrifying Threes” to the “What the Fours,” but no matter what comes out of your father’s cynical, hardened mouth, I want you to know that you’re a pretty great kid.

The Life and Times of the Palmer Family — NaBloPoMo Day 10 — This is 4. — Happy Birthday, Kiddo!

I’m plenty hard on you—your little brother is literally copying your every move right now, so I need you to be a good role model for him—but it’s all because I want you to become the best you possible. You won’t get this until you’re much, much older, but the time I spend as your Dad often makes me reflect on my childhood, realising much of what I hated my parents for back then became the life lessons that make me who I am today. It won’t be easy for you—unfortunately, I’ll likely make sure of it—but I hope you’ll eventually realise I’m doing it to make the best you possible.

Through our great moments—wrestling, cuddling and our excellent “Good Morning” routines for your classmates—and the not so great ones, like when you cry over things I don’t see as issues and or where you refuse to eat and later complain over your hunger… I hope we can sit down sometime in the future, laughing about this over a beer.

You make me laugh, make me shout, and on the rare occasion make me cry (but I don’t break easy, sir), but I’m happy to call you my son and it’s great to see what you contribute to your world. You’re clever, compassionate and really good at making friends—though my focus is on rules, manners and obedience, you have what it takes to become a far better person than your Dad is, and I hope you always know that.

What the Fours — Let’s Make This an Amazing Year!

The Life and Times of the Palmer Family — NaBloPoMo Day 10 — This is 4. — Blowing Out the Candles

It’s hard to believe you’re already four, and even looking back at old photos and your younger brother, you already stand out so much as your own person. You’re a little ball of energy who loves experimenting with his hands, and the more I learn about you, the more I want to support your strengths and interests so you never live a life that doesn’t align with your values.

All that said, happy birthday to you. You’ve celebrated with Mom and ate an opulent McDonald’s dinner as per your request. I hope you’ve had a great day, kiddo—here’s to many more!

Love always,

— Dad

NaBloPoMo Day 4 — Grown People Music — What I’ve Learned from JAY Z’s 4:44

Though I’ve listened to plenty of rap since buying my first boombox in ’97, I’ve rarely heard anything representing me. Sure, it’s largely Black music, but from a different narrative than my life altogether. Middle-class. Raised in a two-parent home. Private school education, married with kids—nothing you’d want to hear about in the club. And though I found some kinship in Childish Gambino’s “Not Going Back” and  Drake’s “You & The 6”, the struggle of growing up Black while lacking enough Blackness for your peers only reflects part of my identity. There’s so much more to my life!

NaBloPoMo Day 4 — Grown People Music — What I've Learned from JAY Z's 4-44 — Young Casey

But life is full of surprises. You never know who’s going to create the work that speaks to your soul, and a former hustler from New York’s Marcy Projects would be the last person I’d expect to understand me, but with his thirteenth album 4:44, I can tell you for a fact that JAY Z gets it. With topics like legacy, family and the constant pursuit of excellence, it’s an album speaking to everything I’m trying to build with my efforts here at the blog!

Let’s dive a little deeper.

The 2016 100 Wrap-Up, Part 3: The 28 Things Left Over

And we’re finally here—the 28 items that either just didn’t make the cut to come back after 2016, or got tabled for future Casey to handle somewhere down the line!

The more I do these, the more I realise I can’t do everything today, and so I work harder to focus on what’s in front of me so I can give myself the room to manage future challenges!

But hey—if there’s something on this list you think you can make happen sooner, feel free to let me know at palmer.casey@gmail.com and we’ll see what we can do!

Without further ado, here’s The 2016 100 Wrap-Up, Part 3: The 28 Items Left Over!


The 2016 100 Wrap-Up — What I MAY Do, But Not Necessarily in 2017

2) Win a vacation for my dry cleaner — One thing I’ve learned as a blogger is that while it’s all too easy to get high on yourself when you have successes, you also need to keep realistic. Though many great things have happened in my #BloggerLife so far, I don’t have the clout nor the contacts to conjure a vacation from thin air. Not yet, anyway. This is one I’ll pursue awhile, yet.

The 2016 100 Wrap-Up, Part 3 - The 28 Things Left Over — The Toronto Argonauts' First Game at the New BMO Field (Go Argos Go)

4) Take Eric to a sporting event so he can stop complaining about getting left from sporting events — After hitting a Toronto Argos game last year with a few buddies (and by association the Canada vs. Slovakia World Junior Hockey Championship game I was at just before the new year), I may have promised my buddy Eric that I’d take him to a game sometime. This would make the 2017 list, except I have no idea when I’ll find myself invited to a game next, so we’ll get back to this one eventually.

#stopCOMPAREnting — How Parents Keep it Real with Quaker Canada

Three years into parenthood, every new day’s an adventure, and the rules change as quickly as our kids do. We parents learn to do the best we can with what we’ve got, and with two sons whose faces light up whenever I get home from work, I’d say I’m not doing half-bad.

But it wasn’t always this way.

Back when this journey started, everyone had an opinion—what sunscreen to use. Which songs to sing for our baby’s best development. My peers put every move I made under the microscope, everyone considering themselves experts on parenting. After all, they were once kids themselves, right? They’d all hold me to some idealised standard from what they knew as kids, or what they saw online—and therein, folks, lies the problem…

…the way they thought parenting was meant to be wasn’t the real picture at all.

#stopCOMPAREnting — How Parents Keep it Real with Quaker Canada — Little Palmer's Kitchen

Join Me at the Pampers #ThanksBaby Twitter Party for Father’s Day!


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With Father’s Day on the approach, I’ve found myself thinking about fatherhood and everything I’ve learned about this lifestyle so far. It’s far different now than it’s ever been before—when writing this post, I’d been thinking on what it must’ve been like to raise kids in 1916, and the colour of my skin notwithstanding, I’m pretty sure I much rather be the über-involved Dad expected of me today than the unemotional and detached fathers who were the norm of generations past.

It’s still something the world needs to get used to—the modern Dad’s been given the opportunity to rewrite the rule book and give everyone entirely new insights into what fathers can be. Now that we’re doing things like sharing parental leaves with our maternal counterparts and forming our own groups to discuss fatherhood and the emotional perils that come with it, it’s a new day as we strive to raise kids who’ll redefine parenthood for their generation.

Join Me at the Pampers ThanksBaby Twitter Party for Father's Day! — Twitter Party AdBut you don’t have to take my word for it—this Wednesday, June 15th, you can join me and a number of Dads across North America for Pampers’ #ThanksBaby Twitter Party for Father’s Day, where we can reflect on the laughs, challenges and incredible feelings that come with being a Dad! (And hey—with plenty of prizes available, including a $250 Visa gift card as the top takeaway, why would you want to miss it???)

The Pampers #ThanksBaby Twitter Party — Let’s Change the Conversation One Tweet at a Time!

Changing how the world sees Dads won’t happen overnight. The stories we know best all started as mere ideas and took root as people kept talking about them. You may see a Twitter Party with prizes—I see the opportunity to start shifting our expectations for the men we call Dads, and give them not only an equal share of the work needed to raise the kids of this world—but the awareness that they too play instrumental roles in developing the generation that’ll rock tomorrow.

I hope to see you there—I promise I’ll behave.

A little.

Until the next,

–case p.


Disclaimer: I’m helping moderate this Twitter Party as a member of the Pampers Baby Panel, sharing news and information that’s been covering behinds (ha, ha) for over 50 years! You can hit Pampers up at their site for more information, such as their Rewards Program, and on social media over at Twitter, YouTube and Facebook.