#BlackDadWorries | Worrying About Raising Black Children in a World That Doesn’t Value Them.

Yesterday, thanks to the advice from a friend to save my Instagram story to my profile, I came up with a new hashtag #BlackDadWorries that spells out how I feel in the face of all this death. And death isn’t even calling it what it is—murder, with Black lives continually cut short, and the message made clear: there’s nowhere out there where Black people should reasonably expect to be safe from a world that’s trying to get them.

#BlackDadWorries — My Two Boys in the Kitchen My boys are still young, but they’re growing up quick, developing worlds and lives of their own. And while I’d love just to sit back and let them develop on their own so they can build senses of self in the truest sense of the phrase… the world we live in won’t let me do it. Yes, they’re six and four, but they’re six- and four-year-olds who hear they look “dirty” because their skin is darker. Six- and four-year-olds who hear they’re not white enough to play with other kids. I’d love to take things slow, but their world’s developing quickly, and it makes me wonder when I’ll need to sit them down and tell them what the world’s really like.

Why I Made The Corona Chronicles A Series

Casey's Corona Chronicles — How to Outlast Your Kids in the Midst of a Global Pandemic — Empty Grocery Store Shelves
Is this what the world’s end looks like? Credit to André Proulx.

What do you even write about when the whole world’s burning down? Multibillion-dollar sports empires ended their seasons early. The travel industry shut down in one fell swoop. I didn’t start talking about COVID-19 right away because it was all anyone could talk about, but as soon as we closed schools down for three weeks across Ontario, how could I not?

When I first published The Corona Chronicles on March 13th, though, I was so short-sighted. I called the three-week quarantine “March Br3ak”, thinking this would all somehow resolve itself by April. I didn’t jump on long-term prep right away, figuring I could do some catch-up once things calmed down a bit.

But then our businesses shut down on the 16th. Travel another four days later. We learned that this was no small thing—we needed to learn a “new normal” with a very uncertain future ahead. This was no three-week ordeal.

And as the days dragged on and I kept writing about the experience, it only grew clearer there was more going on than a single post could contain. I needed a full series.

So here, in week eight of The Great Quarantine, I’d like to welcome you to The Corona Chronicles: The Series, where we talk about life as a family in Toronto, trying to stay sane each day as we find new ways to adjust.

I, for one, look forward to returning to some semblance of normal soon, but until we do, you can expect me to keep writing about it.

Be well, everyone, and keep doing what you need to to make it in these times!

Until the next, I remain,

cep wrap-up logo

The Life and Times of Casey Palmer — The State of the #BloggerLife, February 2019: Do Less Better.

One thing I’ve been particularly horrible at is learning to say “no”.

The Long Road to Becoming a Better Blogger

They say hindsight’s 20/20, and if my old report cards are an indication of anything, the people around me could see I was sowing the seeds to my destruction long before I could.

The Life and Times of Casey Palmer — The State of the #BloggerLife, February 2019 — Do Less Better. — The Pile of Work

We all know there’re only twenty-four hours in a day, but I’ve been working to optimise every minute of my days since I was twelve. I could sleep when I was dead—I had too many ideas and a plethora of interests; it was all about the short-term pain for the long-term gain, and I was confident that I’d reach the day where I wouldn’t need to work so hard anymore.

But it’s been more than twenty years of sleepless nights and wishful thinking since, and I’m still not quite so sure when I’ll figure it all out.

I mean, the question is this—how do you succeed with your content when you can’t make it your everything?

Chatting with Casey 0009 — The Life and Times of the Single Mom

And then you have the times where you fall off the wagon and scramble to find the way back onto your path.

Chatting with Casey 0009 — The Life and Times of the Single Mom — The Palmer Boys

I never wanted to step away from podcasting as long as I did, but my life had other things in mind. Summertime trips. An office workload dialled up to eleven. Things were piling up on top of the fact that the most recent episode didn’t have the crystal clear audio I was looking for, so I took a step back to try and figure things out while handling the rest of my life. But several months and a good listen-through later, I realised it wasn’t that bad! We’re bringing October to a close, and I’m back and ready to go steady!

Doing Potty Training Right Thanks to Kandoo Flushable Wipes!

And then you have the parenting situations that play out in slow motion. Like when your kid’s about to fall and smash their head on something hard. Or when they’re about to break something you can’t afford to replace!

But for me, one moment that happened recently was my two-year-old’s ill-timed attempt to enter the tub while a little something emerged from his bum! Fortunately, I got there right in the nick of time, scooping the offending material with a wipe so we could avoid further disaster, but that’s just the thing about parenting—you’ll never need as much as the world says you will, but when you do need something, you need it!

And that’s especially true for something like Kandoo Flushable Wipes, offering little hands precisely what they need to clean themselves up to 30% better than they would with regular toilet paper.

Kandoo Flushable Wipes — Because Potty Training’s Already Frustrating Enough for EVERYBODY.

That’s right—the cat’s out of the bag—for the rest of 2018, I’m joining the Kandoo Kouncil, a team of parent content creators always looking for better ways to do everything we do anyway.

And on this council, the name of the game is potty training.

Chatting with Casey 0006 — Everybody Wants to be Fabulous

And then sometimes you need to take a step back and handle your ish.

Chatting with Casey 0006 — Everybody Wants to be Fabulous — Casey Palmer, June 2018

With Father’s Day come and gone for 2018, I was finally free to take stock of everything going on in the rest of my life, and it was a mess. A to-do list 270 items deep. Friends and family whose voices I hadn’t heard in months. Things were hectic, and I quickly remembered I couldn’t be a good husband, father, son, brother, friend, employee, churchgoer and content creator all at the same time.

So I took the time to handle a few things and while they’re still far from perfect, being able to find some time to get back to the podcast’s always okay by me!

But enough with the preamble—let me tell you why episode six is so good.

Why Father’s Day Isn’t Mother’s Day II — An Exercise in Fatherhood by Casey E. Palmer

“Happy Father’s Day to the single mothers out there doing both jobs.”

No.

Why Father's Day Isn't Mother's Day II — An Exercise in Fatherhood by Casey E. Palmer — Reading to My Eldest

Oh, I get it. And I agree that we should celebrate single Moms for everything they do to raise their kids—it ain’t easy; I have a hard enough time with two of us in the house. But let’s not diminish the efforts of the Dads who work hard to be worthy of their children’s love by treating Father’s Day like Mother’s Day II.

Real talk—we haven’t embraced the idea that we’ve got single Dads at home managing everything despite that it’s a growing demographic. I don’t see anyone wishing them a Happy Mother’s Day because they’re doing both jobs. And it doesn’t even reflect the modern family anyway—are you saying that same-sex couples need to decide what roles they’ll play? Why can’t you have two Moms or two Dads instead of trying to force them into a model that’s not as universal as it once was?

I’m down with celebrating single Moms and everything they do. But I’m going to do it on Mother’s Day. You know? The holiday we celebrated just over a month ago? The second-largest holiday for card giving in the entire year? I mean, it’s already hard enough for Dad to be taken seriously in a world convinced we’re all sub-par—let’s not continue pushing that narrative just because it’s easier to believe that “all men ain’t shit”.

Chatting with Casey 0004 — It’s Hard Out Here for a Dad

“Just because he got her pregnant doesn’t mean he needs to be a Dad.”

“How do you know she wasn’t trying to trap him into a relationship? These women will go to extremes to lock a brother down!”

“Why does he have to change his life because something unexpected happened?”


The allegation that Drake may have fathered a son has brought out an ugly side in people I thought I knew. Men who want to shirk the responsibility of fatherhood when it stares them in the face, preferring to live in pursuit of fun instead of going for something perhaps more meaningful. Guys who see women as objects and children as burdens—who’ve yet to mature enough to understand the value of family and the joys it can bring you.

These worrisome thoughts took me back to my second keynote at Parenting 101—”It’s Hard Out Here for a Dad”, my talk on what it’s like to be a Dad, and why we all need to get a better understanding of it!

I hope you enjoy it!

Another week in the bag, and until next week, I remain,

–case p.

Chatting with Casey 0003 — Give Me Some Room to Fail

Work at something hard enough, and you eventually hit a point where everything starts to click.

I’ve been grinding away especially hard at the blog, the job, and everything in between of late, trying to make sense of everything and cut down on the clutter that’s always in the way. And after working my way through requisitioning a purchase order at work and finally getting a few elusive posts within mere sentences of completion, it all finally came together. What I should be doing.

And it’ll take so much writing to get there!

Chatting with Casey 0003 — Give Me Some Room to Fail — Casey at FanExpo's Artist Alley

So the plan is this—we’re gonna keep creating ’til the wheels come off. Sarah has this dream—that one day I’ll be able to exist without my mind always thinking about what I’ll next use to fill my content calendar.

And you know what? It’s entirely possible… I just need to get ahead. Schedule content ahead so I can step away for weeks at a time without worry. Get back to seeing the people I haven’t managed to connect with in ages.

Short-term pain. Long-term gain. We can make it happen!

That Parent Life Isn’t So Hard with Pampers Rewards!

There’s no way we’d make it this far as parents if it weren’t for the community of peers that built up around us.

You likely won’t appreciate this if you haven’t had kids yourself, but it’s a life change that can prove very isolating for new parents! The friends without kids want to give you space to adjust to your new addition, but what you need is all hands on deck to help you figure things out. The friends with kids might only have time to pop in for a quick visit or to drop food and supplies off to keep you going. What new parents need is to find others going through the same thing as they are, for there’s power in numbers and they can find their way through it together.

For us, we did it through Sarah creating a Facebook group for parents with babies born in November 2013. Through it, she met plenty of local Moms with kids the same age who’d get what she was going through. It forged friendships still going strong today, and though it gets tricky manoeuvring through the birthday parties each year, I’d say it’s one of the best things that happened to us as parents.

You share resources—a toy or tool that didn’t work for one child might work for another. You share stories—you never know how much your experiences might encourage friends in their time of need. But what might be the most crucial thing that’s shared is knowledge. The tips, tricks and techniques parents share lay the foundation for our growth. They teach us how to make the most of the time and energy we put into our efforts. They let us do the impossible in raising our kids. And when you can apply them without breaking the bank? That right there, friends, is a bonus—the very kind you’ll get through the Pampers Rewards app!