Thirty-Three: Looking Hard Trying to Find ME.

Last updated on May 3rd, 2021 at 01:30 am

I feel like we do this every year—I get a little older, grow a little wiser, but somehow miss the mark on accomplishing the countless items left sitting on my to-do list with each passing birthday. Call it being unrealistic or being too hard on myself, but there’s a genuinely great feeling I get from lightening my load by even one item, and it’s that high I keep chasing—especially when I know I’ve done it right.

It’s not something I expect anyone else to get—it’s always proven difficult to articulate the jumbled thoughts inside my cranium, though Lord knows I’ve tried as this blog’s continued to grow. What it comes down to is this—I know myself: I know myself well, and if I ever want to move on to handle some of the bigger challenges in my life, there’s a tome of writing I’m going to have to do first.

Thirty-Three- A Year Spent Looking Hard Trying to Find ME—I Got 99 Problems... and Somehow They've All Got Something to do With Blogging.

La Passione

Last updated on March 31st, 2021 at 01:20 am

"Blogging requires passion and authority. Which leaves out most people."

How long can we remain passionate about something? Is our passion a flame that can burn eternally, or is it something that goes the way of most things, fizzling out with the passage of time?

What good are we to the world if we keep operating beyond our limits, trying to eke out just a little more greatness?

What do you write about after so much content? The brain gets drained, the topics feel used up—what else could there be?

These are the questions that haunt me as I try to wrap up a year of posting, with pieces of blogs scattered from place to place across computers and stored in the cloud.

Once you fall off of the track and don’t do things with the pace and intensity that you’re used to, it’s hard to get back on. I’m almost a week behind in posts, and I don’t feel the same sense of urgency that I used to in catching up when I’ve lost time.

Have I lost my passion for blogging? Have I given up and chosen to take life in a different direction? Does this happen to everyone who devotes 365 days to doing something? Have our abilities for commitment waned so much that we just can’t devote our lives like we used to?

Sometimes it just feels forced.

Upon writing this, I’m more than a month behind in getting my blogs out. On one hand, I doubt too many people are surprised—it was a tough topic and I was definitely getting burnt out.