INSERT INTRODUCTORY PROFOUND STATEMENT HERE.
I don’t have to be a psychic to know that 2004 is going to be filled with a lot of hard decisions.
If you only keep up with my life through LiveJournal and don’t talk to me on a regular basis, then you wouldn’t know that I’ve been questioning my purpose and the meaning behind my life more than usual recently. I know some people will probably reply to this post with something like “The meaning of life is to make the most of every moment”. Man, I’m really tired of that. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy life in an environment where I can’t fluorish? I was talking to luvsgurl about this, and she and I agree that I eventually need to get out of Mississauga and experience more. It’s kind of like ghetto-child syndrome, where people that have grown up in the ghettos more often than not have never been outside of the ghetto where they grew up. That’s what I’m feeling like. Like there’s a world of opportunity out there, and I’m stuck in this place. Oh well, only two more years until graduation. Then I’ll probably make a run for it.
END OF AN ERA.
Sunday, my father closed down his restaurant, St. Hubert’s Bar-B-Q, for good. I have mixed feelings about the entire thing. For one, I saw my father at his most human—for the near 21 years I’ve been living on this planet so far, I’d never seen him cry before. For me, it was surreal in a way—sort of like the entire thing wasn’t happening. It was good to be there on Sunday night, though. Got to see a lot of people that I haven’t had the chance to spend time with as of late, and got to reminisce about growing up around St. Hubert’s. There are people there who still remember me from when I was still running around in sweatpants from pre-school with thick ass adult glasses since glasses for kids was a relatively new thing at the time. Anyway, getting back to the point—yeah, it was a weird situation at best. On another side note—to all you people whining that the place is closing? Joking that you’ve been there so often that my dad owes you some free meals? Talking about how there’s always Swiss Chalet? You know what? Screw y’all. My dad started this place by himself, and he’s ending it by himself. He’s a greater man than you people and your incessant drivel. He put his heart, mind and soul into the joint. And as for me? This place was my history—it’s where I grew up when I wasn’t at home, school, or my grandmother’s. It’s always something that will be irreplaceable within me—it’s not about the friggin’ money. It’s about its meaning. And it’s lost on y’all.
WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE
Usually, if you asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. How times change, my friends, how times change. After thinking about it, I decided that I couldn’t choose between cinematography, graphic design, creating a community for artists, amongst other options. So I figure, why not just combine the whole shebang into one mega-company? That’s what I want to do. As I was telling 0094 as we walked out of Square One, I want Mississauga to eventually become something of an Art Mecca. His tone of reply indicated something of disbelief/thinking it couldn’t be done. We’ll see, man! We’ll see.
ADDITIONALLY, ON THE ART TIP:
So I haven’t updated my comic in a week or two (nobody really follows it anyway, so only one person’s been complaining). Why? Well, it’s partially due to the near-insurmountable pile of work I seem to have right now. The other reason is simply a lack of motivation. My comic doesn’t interest me, and I can’t seem to find an angle that’ll work for me. Maybe I have mild ADHD or something. Can never really seem to focus on one thing for a lengthy period of time. But I do know that I have to represent with a sizeable amount of work at the convention, so work I will!
I have nothing else to say, really. Chatting with friends, reading up on the lives of others, and seeing one of my ex-girlfriends take a year off of school to travel around the world and experience things (she’s in Australia right now swimming with dolphins after learning how to surf yesterday) … I realize that I have chosen a path of responsibility with my life. Even though I don’t enjoy it, it is who and what I have become at this point in time. I live to ensure a healthy future for myself and those I care about. Even though it ties me down to things I loathe… I must persevere and live with it. For now.