Last updated on May 17th, 2021 at 10:38 pm
To help me in my quest to become an Axetronaut (a term coined by my friend Christine), you could not bother reading this post and just vote for me, but I’ve got a story to tell.
How cool would it be to go to outer space?
A while back, I’d put a quote up for discussion on my Facebook from Penelope Trunk, author of The New American Dream:
It used to be we had a midlife crisis. Then we had a quarterlife crisis. Now we have a constant crisis. Adults feel overwhelmed by the idea of trying to construct a life that works. And the core of this problem is that the goal of happiness is feeling vacuous. It’s just hard to say that. It’s hard to say you are not trying to get what you were raised to get. It’s hard to say you are not playing the game you were taught in school – for twenty years – to play.
In her book, Penelope surmises that we’re not actually looking for happiness in our lives—we’re just looking to keep things interesting. We get so wrapped up in our daily routines and trying to live at a certain standard that we forget to change it up now and then. To try new experiences, go new places, meet new people—we somehow convince ourselves that we’ll be happy if only we can keep things constant and meet a specific goal.
You’re kidding me, right?
No, the universe out there is so much larger and more complex than we can even fathom—yet we limit ourselves to the files on our desks. Or to our social media rankings. Bank account balances.
All things that won’t matter a lick at the end of our lives.
What we will have until the end are the experiences that make us unique. The experiences that make up the very foundation of who we are.
Our jobs do not define us.
But we cannot choose whether our experiences define us—we are the sum of our experiences!
Axeing You to Make Me an Axetronaut!
With all that in mind, I want to find my way to outer space!
While I’m not a fan of popularity contests (I’ll take feats of skill or luck over “Who ha the most Internet friends” any day), some prizes are too cool to pass up so easily!
But why send me to space? Why should I be one of the ones to represent Canada in one of the first commercial flights among the stars? Well…
1. I PROMISE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THE EXPERIENCE
Anyone who’s seen me in the midst of a new experience knows I’m like a kid at a candy store. My eyes light up, my energy levels spike, and I soak it all in. I’m not there to say I was there—I’m there to get everything I can from the experience I’m in! This would be no exception!
2. YOU CAN FREELY BE AMUSED BY MY COMPLETE LACK OF SHAME
No holds barred, y’all. If I need to upchuck my lunch after a ride in a centrifuge, you’ll be there. If I have a really embarrassing crotch-to-face collision while in zero gravity, you’ll be there. When I write, I’m here to help you experience what I experience, both good and bad. And if you trust me to go to space? It’ll be ridiculous.
3. I REP CANADA, THROUGH AND THROUGH
I’m proud to stand by the re and white colours of our flag. I’d love to show what Canadians are really made of and that even though we can be nice and polite to a fault, we’re also tough contenders when it comes down to it! Space would be the perfect arena to prove this!
How it All Works
So we have 8 months to show that we can rally enough support to send us to Space Camp. You’ll see below that you can only vote once, so the real mission here will be to convince you guys to share my https://bit.ly/SpaceCase link with as many people as possible in that time! I’m somewhere around 200th now, but in that time, trust me—we can do some serious damage!!!
For a more detailed look at how the entire contest works:
Stage 1: VOTING
- Voting runs from January 9—August 31, 2013
- You can only vote once over the 8 months, meaning you want exposure to as many people as possible and not just harping on your friends to vote for you daily! (i.e. I’m going to badger you lot to share the heck out of the link instead!)
- The Top 2 Canadians who advance to Stage 2 will be announced on or before October 31, 2013
Stage 2: SPACE CAMP
- Stage 2 is held at the Axe Apollo Global Space Camp in Orlando, FL in December 2013
- Winners can meet winners from promotions in other countries, and take part in authentic astronaut training missions (including a flight in an L39 Albatross Mk11 jet, a session in a G-force centrifuge simulator and a flight on a zero gravity-inducing aircraft)
Stage 3: ASTRONAUT SELECTION
- The winning Canadian Axetronaut will be selected by January 31, 2014, based on 3 criteria:
- MENTAL APTITUDE – BASED ON PERFORMANCE IN WRITTEN TEST
- PHYSICAL APTITUDE – BASED ON PERFORMANCE IN 3 MAIN EVENTS AND ASSAULT COURSE
- AXE SPACE CREW TEAM FIT – DEDICATION, ENTHUSIASM & TEAM SPIRIT
- The prize: A flight on the X-COR Lynx sub‐orbital space vehicle, now under development by X-COR Technologies
- Selected by January 31, 2014
- Launch site: Currently anticipated to be in the United States, or the island of Curaçao.
- The X‐COR Lynx sub-orbital space vehicle: Currently anticipated to be ready to carry private passengers on commercial space flights from late 2014 onwards; Space Flight is planned to take place between January 1, 2014, and January 1, 2017, if it happens at all. (If the flight cannot take place by January 1, 2017, the Space Flight prize will be cancelled and Promoter will award the winner a cash prize of about $85,000.
Me. Space. Doing crazy stuff. Think about it!!!
7 replies on “Why I Should Be a Space Axetronaut!”
Were astronauts involved in anything that the Men in Black did? I feel like making a Men in Black joke here. (PS THIS IS SUPER COOL. DON’T TAKE YOUR HELMET OFF THOUGH.)
lol. How about the Man That’s Black? That’s how I always used to sing the theme song — far more satisfying 🙂
IF I TAKE THE HELMET OFF, WILL I END UP WITH HELMET HAIR?! (Ultimate joke!)
YOU’LL END UP WITH NO HEAD OR SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE. (Joke potential is high.)
This is QUITE the DARK MATTER going on! Perhaps we should take this outside! To the DARK SIDE of the Moon!
(Oh yes, I went there!)
I love this for your Case!
I think you would make the best Canuck Axetronaut ever! I hope you get a crap load of exposure, and I hope you make it all the way to “Infinity and Beyond”!
Space Case, you are amazeballz.
Ha ha ha — thanks for the support as always 😀 I’m planning to do some video campaigns and such as the months go on to try and really get some exposure on this. I need to come up with something utterly insane to make it all work. But you know me. Insane comes NATURALLY 😉
Keep me posted. I’d love to help out as much as possible.