Worst. Date. Ever.

Last Updated: January 15, 2021

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1. Many of our fondest memories are associated with food. Describe a memorable experience that took place while preparing or eating food.

2. Write about a time when a preconceived notion or opinion (about a person, place, thing, etc.) turned out to be wrong. What did it take to change your mind?

— The Scintilla Project’s Day 8 prompts

Some of the best dates are the ones that go according to plan… but sometimes you need to ask whose plan you’re following!

16 was a hell of a year. Seeing as how my life was so insanely busy, I hadn’t been on too many dates before (I mean, my confidence levels were low enough that I’d convinced myself that no one would want me)—but judging from how events unfolded below, I wasn’t the only one!

Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls, Girls I Do Adore…

Reading through my old journals, I see that when I wasn’t worrying about money or schoolwork, I was worrying about girls. I was too busy to keep up a relationship, but I saw everyone around me experimenting with love and wanted some of it for myself. Around Valentine’s Day 2000, I was single, and my ex—potentially taking pity on my perilous plight—decided to hook me up with a coworker of hers and see where it went from there. Her name was Maritza, and she was from a nice Spanish family.

Since it’d been a while since being on a proper date, I was pulling all the stops to make a good impression. I planned dinner at a nice restaurant, dressed in my best outfit, and got flowers. I hoped I had what it took to stand a chance! So I get to the front door, flower in hand, ready to take her somewhere nice, and she answers. I remember her being cute. And then she said the nine magic words:

“Do you mind if we have dinner here instead?”

I was confused, having to give up the plans I’d worked so hard to put together, but who was I to deny a request on a first date?

Little did I know it’d be an ambush.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

Had I been a little older and wiser, I’d have realized that no teenager in their right mind would have a first date at her parents’ place… without her parents home.

My memory could be playing tricks on me, but I remember walking into the kitchen where her father, mother, siblings and maybe a cousin or two sat awaiting my arrival.

And thus began one of the most awkward meals I’ve ever had.

“What’re your intentions for my daughter?”

“I… only just met her now.”

“What’s your five-year plan?”

“…I’m 16, I don’t really have one—go to school? Get a job?”

“What do you do for work?”

“Work at my Dad’s chicken restaurant?”

Needless to say, it was the only date. I remember even sending a teddy bear and chocolates after for Valentine’s Day (again if I was only a little older and a little wiser…), but that pretty much wrapped that tale up nicely.

Worst. Date. Ever.